What’s Your Love Style? (2 min read)

Every adult has their own unique vibe when it comes to relationships. These different approaches can be grouped into various relationship and attachment styles. Here's a breakdown of some major styles and ways people connect with each other:

Attachment Styles

Attachment theory, crafted by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, breaks down how we bond with others into four main styles:

 Secure Attachment

 These folks are chill with both closeness and independence. They tend to have stable, trusting relationships.

Anxious Attachment

People with this style crave constant intimacy and approval. They can be a bit clingy and worry about their partner's commitment.

Avoidant Attachment

 These individuals value their independence and can be uncomfortable with too much intimacy. Emotional expression isn't their strong suit.

Disorganized Attachment

 This style is less common and often stems from past trauma. It's marked by confusion and fear in relationships.

Love Styles

John Lee's love styles theory outlines six ways people express love, impacting their relationships deeply:

 Eros

Passionate, romantic love with a focus on physical attraction and emotional intensity.

Ludus

Playful, casual love that's more about having fun than a serious commitment.

Storge

Deep affection that grows from friendship, emphasizing long-term commitment.

Pragma

Practical love is based on shared goals and mutual benefits, driven by logic.

Mania

Intense, obsessive love that can be possessive and lead to emotional ups and downs.

Agape

Selfless, unconditional love that's all about giving without expecting anything in return.

Relationship Dynamics

Beyond attachment and love styles, the dynamics in relationships vary widely:

 Traditional vs. Egalitarian

Traditional relationships follow set gender roles, while egalitarian ones emphasize equality and shared responsibilities.

Monogamous vs. Non-monogamous

Monogamous relationships are exclusive with one partner, whereas non-monogamous ones (like polyamory) involve consensual romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners.

Transactional vs. Transformational

Transactional relationships are based on mutual benefits, while transformational ones focus on personal growth and deep connections.

Independent vs. Codependent: Independent relationships maintain personal autonomy, while codependent ones involve excessive emotional reliance on each other.

Communication Styles

Good communication is critical, and people have different ways of expressing themselves and dealing with conflicts:

 Assertive Communication

Being open and honest while respecting others.

Passive Communication

Avoiding direct expression of needs and feelings which can lead to frustration.

Aggressive Communication

Being forceful or hostile in expressing needs, often at others' expense.

Passive-Aggressive Communication

Indirectly expressing negative feelings or resentment instead of addressing issues head-on.

Embrace Your Unique Relationship Style, Flaws, and All

 Understanding your love style is a powerful tool for building fulfilling relationships. If you didn't like what you discovered about your style or your partner's, don't worry—awareness is the first step to positive change. Embrace your individual style, communicate openly, and address any challenges together. Recognize, honor, and work on your differences to create meaningful and lasting connections.