The BREAKUP LIST: Heal Faster and Move On (2 min read)

Facing the Whole Truth

 Breaking up is hard, primarily when your memories focus only on the happy times with your ex. However, ignoring the negative aspects of the relationship can prolong your pain and delay your healing process. Acknowledging the complete picture is crucial so you can move forward after a breakup.

Make a Breakup List 

The remedy lies in creating a "The Breakup List." This list serves as a grounding tool to remind you why the relationship ended. Here's what to include:

Instances of Feeling Inadequate

 Write down moments when your ex made you feel less than you are. Whether through direct criticism or subtle put-downs, these instances eroded your self-esteem and happiness.

Disrespect and Unloving Behavior

 Recall times they disrespected you or showed a lack of love and care. This could include ignoring your needs, making you cry, or dismissing your feelings.

Broken Promises and Cheating

Document any broken promises or instances of infidelity. These betrayals are crucial to remember when you're tempted to romanticize the past.

Neglect and Taking You for Granted

 Think about how often they ignored your calls or texts and took you for granted. Include times when they prioritized friends or other activities over spending time with you.

Controlling and Self-Centered Actions

List moments when they tried to control you, talked about themselves without showing interest in you or blamed you for things beyond your control.

Lack of Support and Apologies

 Remember when they expected your support but were absent when you needed it? Note if they rarely, if ever, apologized for their mistakes.

Emotional Burden and Exclusion

 Highlight how they placed the emotional burden solely on you to sustain the relationship. Recall if they often excluded you from activities with their family or friends.

Using the List

 Whenever thoughts of your ex resurface, turn to your "Breakup List" This tool helps ground you in reality, reminding you why the relationship ended and the behaviors that were harmful to your well-being. By reviewing the list, you can prevent yourself from romanticizing the past or considering rekindling an unhealthy relationship.

Before Reaching Out

 Consult your list before you reach out to your ex or entertain the idea of getting back together. Reflect on whether their past actions align with your standards and if investing further in the relationship would genuinely serve your best interests. The list acts as a barrier against repeating old patterns and investing in a relationship unlikely to meet your needs.

 A Reality Check in Vulnerable Moments 

In moments of vulnerability or nostalgia, refer to your list as a reality check. Remind yourself of the pain and disrespect you experienced, and use it as motivation to prioritize your well-being. By honoring the insights gained from your "Breakup List," you can protect yourself from reopening old wounds and focus on moving forward with self-respect and clarity.